Disclaimer: The content below is supposed to be taken in light humor. Our intent is not to hurt anyone’s sentiments.
After coming across various tweets by Bhakts today, it occurred to me that we have a serious problem here. I mean I can’t let my fellow ‘bhaiyon’ and ‘beheno’ suffer due to a food delivery application.
So after hours of brainstorming, I finally had my saffron moment and realized that what Bharat needs right now is not employment but an exclusive food delivery application for the Bhakts.
I along with my fellow Gau team have launched an exclusive platform for the same.
Time to paint the world saffron again!
Let me introduce to you, my mitron, an exclusive food delivery application just for Bhakts, ‘Gaumato’. Just like the application’s holy name, the food we deliver is 100% ‘shuddh’ and comes glazed with Ganga Jal.
Gaumato is an exclusive food ordering application where you can order your pulao online without the fear of getting served vegetable biryani instead.
The best part is that the food will be delivered in Desi Dabbas and delivered at your doorstep by our very special army of gau-rakshaks.
Don’t fret, the food shall only be delivered an upper-caste Hindu who is affectionate towards cows or as we call them ‘GauMan’. You can spot your Gauman by his saffron attire and bike.
Upon arrival, the Gauman will ring your bell and say ‘Jai Shri Ram’. If he doesn’t, please write back to us. We also have a patriotic post-delivery ritual wherein the delivery boy will do your Tilak. I request you to not shy away from it.
The application will have only those food joints which have an all Indian vegetarian menu. We don’t promote firangi food at all on our application.
The restaurants serving to you shall prepare their food without any onion or garlic. As a customer, you will enjoy the food options we offer on our application.
The application will always keep its customer’s satisfaction as its top priority and will have a feedback section.
If you loved your Gauman’s service then you can rate him 5 cows and add a tip of Rs. 11. You can also offer him a glass of Gangajal if you want.
With our service you don’t have to worry about food tampering either, our Gaumans will do the raksha for you.
Mitron! What are you waiting for? Go order now on Gaumato and get a complimentary Gaumutra with the first 5 orders. Use code ‘Mandir’ to get an exclusive discount.
Ab Bhindi Yahi Se Mangwayenge! Do drop your prayers for the success of my new food application below. 1 like = 1 prayer.
Image Credits: Divya Koppisetti
Find The Blogger: @anxioushustler