Raise your hand if you too feel that matrimonial ads, especially the ones looking for brides, are less of matrimonial ads and more of job descriptions and hunts for a more-than-just ‘sarvgunn-sampann’ female slave.
Whenever I am in the mood for a good laugh, I begin reading the matrimonial section of newspapers. Overloaded with not just alarming levels of sexism, these ads seem mostly like a check-list for someone who’s buying furniture or smartphone or something – Feature one check, feature two, check; and so on. And these hilariously demanding ads assure me that if it’s for them, I’ll definitely never qualify for THE bride that they ask for!
The Craziest Matrimonial Ad Ever:
Having read several of them by now, I believe myself a fine judge of matrimonial ads. And the award for the creepiest yet funniest one goes to this one for sure:
Well, Mr. Abhinao Kumar…oops, Dr. Abhinao Kumar, is looking for a bride. But the crux of the matter is that Dr. Abhinao is “presently not working”, and goes on ahead to demand a woman with 1000 different traits. Wonder what gives the man the audacity to ask for so much when he himself doesn’t even have a job currently!
The traits that are on his checklist include – “very fair, beautiful, very loyal, very trustworthy, loving, caring, brave, powerful, rich…” and the long list stretches endlessly on.
The “Patriotic” Spice-Sprinkle:
These days, what seems complete without adding a tinge of ‘nationalism’ or ‘patriotism’ to it?
This gentleman takes that into due account and doesn’t fail to mention among other ridiculous demands that the woman must be “extremely patriotic” and with “a keen desire to increase India’s military and sports capabilities”. It’s open to our imagination and subjective understanding of what the guy means by these words here, and how these particular demands make for a ‘good’ wife.
Besides, she should also be an “extremist but compassionate”…which seemingly makes for an interesting oxymoron, and leave us wondering if he sat with a thesaurus to word down this epic nonsense.
Let’s Talk About Misogyny And Prejudices:
If you’re thinking where the misogyny here is, something that features in all of the matrimonial ads, here it is… the best saved for the last.
The woman (or slave) that he’s looking for should be “an expert in child-raising”. This one seems exceptionally funny, as to how can anyone be an expert in this field unless she already has birthed and mothered around half a dozen kids (which then is impossible again, as these fellows look for ‘virgin’ women)! And someone might as well advise the guy an “excellent cook” too.
To make things more precise, he has also meticulously specified the nationality (Indian), religion (Hindu) and varna (Brahmin, of course). Mind you, readers, he’s ‘liberal’ enough to have his woman “working”.
Hereon, the demands become more rigid. “Sampurna Kundli Milan” and “36 Gunas Matching Must” feature in upper case, suggesting the essentiality of these pre-requisites.
Dr. Abhinao seems like a busy person (despite his unemployed status), as he prefers talks only via SMS and “won’t receive any calls”.
This whole double-standard of an unemployed man asking for a “working” and “powerful, rich, fair” etc woman is extremely sickening. Matrimonial ads are an outright glorification of several good-for-nothing men unabashedly demanding (not asking) a woman too overqualified and out of their league, just because of the virtue of being ‘men’.
And just imagine how much the business sells. Top newspapers and news channels have this nonsense publicised. With such crazy sexism, casteism and hollow pride in the men-folk of our nation, are we really going forwards or backward?
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