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QuoraED: What Would Happen If God Joined Quora?

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QuoraED! This is when we pick up a trending or interesting thread from Quora and spin a story around it.

Whether something like “god” exists or not has always been a part of lot of discussions and debates. Especially, in a country like India where the almighty is found in almost all sizes and forms.

Owing to my habit of being on quora almost 24×7 and reading all kinds of questions and answers, I landed up on one of the most interesting threads on Quora which is basically a funny take on: “What if god exists?” and “What if he was on quora?”

Here, I give you some of the wittiest and coolest answers on what it would be like to have god on quora!

The original question reads : What would happen if God joined Quora? – Quora

1. God will have to go through the recently-launched verified profiles process.

Just like Obama, he’ll have to go through the procedure. Quora grants preferential treatment to no one.

Obama approves!
Obama approves! 
2. “You can’t promote products!” 
God on quora.
“OHH MYY G..”

God talks about earth and humans. People immediately say “You cannot talk about your products “, tag it marketing spam and question quora’s policies again.

The almighty is puzzled until a helpful quoran points out that secret is a much more natural fit.  God comments, “Hmmm. Interesting!”. After that not a single answer is seen in his name but really interesting anonymous answers keep appearing in physics, biology and even bitcoin. Conspiracy theories begin.

3. Hm, about right!

Oh , dear!
Oh, dear!

Joining quora will refute his omnipresence, and not knowing that would refute his omniscience which he will try to overcome with his omnipotenceand finally vanish in a puff of logic!

4. LEGIT!
A lot of people will be following him.
A lot of people will be blocking him.

Oh, and btw, he would continue to remain silent.

God on quora.
*confused*

5. He’s too busy tweeting to join quora.

*wink-wink*
*wink-wink*

@TheTweetOfGod

1.2 million followers

9,322 tweets so far …

@TheTweetOfGod:  “I need to be praised and acknowledged constantly because although I am omnipotent I am extremely insecure.

@TheTweetOfGod:  “Swearing to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth ON A BIBLE is one of the great ironies of life.

@TheTweetOfGod:  “When I made LeBron James I was in the zone.

@TheTweetOfGod:  “How dare all these people win awards for Gravity?!? I CREATED GRAVITY!

6. Sometimes I wonder, will God ever join Quora?

Then I look around and I realize that God left this place a long time ago.

Will god ever join us?
Will god ever join us?

7. It would result in a quoracalypse!

But only after quora has reached the maximum entropy it can attain!

Let me justify the above statements, before my answers are marked for being “less helpful”:

– People would get their answers even before they post a question.

– Quorans would eventually form friends with God outside quora and would rather prefer a face to face interaction with god rather than hanging out on quora.

– Number of people using quora would drop exponentially and no new users would join, since they already have God. This is an irreversible process and the entropy would soon reach the maximum.

– God would replace quora! And BAM!

– That’s the end of the quoran empire!

After the Quoralypse..
After the quoracalypse..

Yes, you read the answers right!

Want to answer the question yourself? Let us know in the comments below!


You’d like to go through: QuoraED : Window Seats And Philosophy
Yogita Rathore
Yogita Rathore
Smart, funny, chic and sarcastic. 4 words that perfectly describe Yogita. Don't let her calm demeanor deceive you, since her blogs are as fiesty as a shot of Tabasco sauce.

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