Disclaimer: Writing on behalf of a friend who recently had a hellish experience while watching a movie at a cinema.
The recent movie watching experience was one that I will never really forget. And no it wasn’t because it was an unforgettable film, had a great time with my friends or something else happened.
But mostly because every little thing that happened that evening just added up to making my cinema experience a hellish one.
It all started when we had to stand up for the national anthem. And see the worst thing wasn’t that I was standing up for national anthem and but in an upmarket Saket mall with people around me who all looked as if they come from smart, sensible families standing for something a false sense of patriotism, I’m sorry, but this was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever done.
I was disgusted and not just that, but also inconvenienced. Because well I had a lot of food in my lap, so obviously priorities. I was also bouncing around looking for the best seat, because well the hall was empty dudes. Don’t judge okay, I know you all do it too.
Though there were 5 people who didn’t stand up. Somehow inside me I was cheering the sitting people. I also passed this comment ki Chennai mein to maara jaa raha hai if people don’t get up.
See, the fact is that according to me I’m a very upstanding citizen, with a very sincere sense of civic duty. But this was really force fed on me. I even had a middle aged woman behind me singing the anthem. Which made me wonder was I really a bad Indian, in spite of holding up every other responsibility?
Oh but it doesn’t end there friends. No no. Okay so DT doesn’t have food. Everything that we asked from on the menu was not available. Which was well… what is a cinema experience without good food, ammirite?
Finally, after all this tussle and grumbling the movie started and me and my friend were sitting in excited anticipation. That surely this movie will be better than even Inglorious Basterds.
I mean, we have heard so much about this movie and not just about it’s star cast and plot, but also as the movie that broke Brangelina etc. so of course the excitement rate was high.
Alas, all our expectations and hopes were dashed to splinters as the movie slowly progressed.
Emphasis on the word slowly.
Not only was the film slow, further more lacked a storyline, had no real peak moment unlike Inglorious Basterds, and overall it just felt like a very thakawa Bollywood romantic movie.
Oh, and did I mention it was slow.
The thing that pissed me off was that ‘Allied’ wasn’t even a smart or intelligent script. There was perhaps only one scene in the entire movie which is worth mentioning, and that is when the German officer, in order to verify the identity of Pitt’s character, asked him to play poker there and then and offered him to shuffle the cards, and then for the next 3 minutes, Pitt’s character kept shuffling the cards in a way you’ve never seen before.
That was the only scene which was even slightly exciting. Itni boring movie thi.
A lot of unnecessary scenes also dragged the movie along.
But apart from all this the one big point which just aggravated me even more was the way the movie was cut insenstitively.
Not just to remove the love making scenes, but even the swearing scenes, wherein entire scenes were cut, as if with a sharp scissor, it was that abrupt and out of the blue. You felt like a toddler watching it, because the entire movie became so strange and disjointed.
See the thing with such cuts is that you are not only cutting the controversial part, but also cutting a scene that could add to the viewing experience, explain something important to the plot and such.
So such sloppy and just bizarre editing only made the cinema experience 10 times worse than it would have been otherwise.
First you are being force fed the national anthem then you get a giant big dose of sanskaar. Wow.
And just like that, with no preamble whatsoever, the movie was over. For a couple of minutes we just kept staring at the screen as if something would happen.
We ultimately left the theatre in a daze of sorts.
So ends my hellish cinema experience which highlights how even a small act like watching a movie has become this frustrating and irritating thing because of Govt. interference.
Image Credits: Google Images