Have you ever called out your friend for being too ‘stoic’? Didn’t like how they appear all unaffected and unemotional over certain things?
Or do you yourself do those things that are mentioned above?
Well, stoicism is somewhat that but not really. Many people think that being ‘stoic’ is just being stony and not having any feelings.
But the reality is much more complicated and complex than that.
Stoicism is often confused by people as the person just being too above emotions and not showing any kind of vulnerability.
And to an extent this is true too, stoicism does include being not too emotional, closed off, and the inability to deal with strong feelings, but these stereotypes are not all that make it up.
Is Being Stoic Good?
If by being stoic you mean putting up unnecessary walls instead of dealing with issues and not addressing them, pushing people away and thinking that emotions make one weak, then sure being stoic is not good.
This is actually an unhealthy form of being stoic, where you just pent up everything until it becomes more than you can handle and the frustration then manifests in other sometimes ugly ways.
Stoic people can also be considered borderline selfish, as per my observation, they have this belief that just like them, everyone else should also be self-sufficient and learn to deal with their problems on their own.
An example of this is an incident my friend had with their stoic friend. They noticed that their friend would often pause conversations to critically talk about what he likes. And even if my friend showed emotions like crying or something, they would mostly take a calculated approach towards consoling them.
The incident in question was when my friend tried to get him to open up but he kept fighting with my friend and it got so bad that they didn’t speak for a year after a couple of months of fighting.
But again, this was just one incident, and after having researched and read up on this area, I can deduce that stoicism can’t be factually argued on, it’s very intricate in terms of exhibition.
However, we do still have one question remaining and that is whether stoicism is good for our emotional health or not?
I Am Stoic And I Like Being One
I think everyone needs an outlet to deal with their problems. The challenging part is figuring out a non-self-destructive method of doing so. Venting is good for your mental state and having pent up emotions can be bad for your emotional health.
But at the same time, there are certain times when being stoic can be a form of self- preservation rather than just selfishness.
Based on my observations, I have noticed that stoic people are extremely sensitive, instead of being the other way around and use this as a protective shield to not get hurt.
A little bit of cultivated stoicism is necessary especially in today’s time, when anyone and everyone is waiting and anticipating to judge you on every little thing you do.
Modern stoicism is gaining ground and actually attracting people from all walks of life.
As a stoic myself, I would say that you are not born stoic and that it is something you cultivate over time and experiences.
It can be extremely necessary when dealing with people and criticism to have a handle on your emotions.
But at the same time, one should learn to give a little bit of space to let out their emotions in a healthy amount. Not doing so can actually negatively impact your relationships and isolate you further from your support group.
So to answer the question one final time, I think a little bit of stoicism is fine, but anything in excess is bad and same goes for stoicism.
Image Credits: Google Images