Mandatory Disclaimer: This is my personal take at a contemporary issue of this country. I do not intend to defame or demean a particular community, caste, class, religion or region. DO NOT GET PISSED OFF. IT IS A SATIRICAL POST.

Recently, another sport has emerged in India: stone pelting. It is generally played in Northern hilly areas and cities close to the controversial borders with our friendly neighbor.

Since it is new and still in its initial years, there needs to be a guide to show you how to be a champ at it. The following steps will enlighten you on how to be as good at stone pelting as the Kashmiris:

Brain and stone pelting don’t go together.
When government gives you benefits, you give them fits.

Read More: Rahul Gandhi Deserved Jail Time For Politicising Retired Army Jawan’s Suicide

Army is evil because it protects you from militants and terrorists.
Legend has it that Lord Ram made the Ram-Setu bridge by stone pelting.
Don’t throw like a girl, throw like a Pokeball.
Wherever you spot an army personal/jeep, just hurl stones at them. Army won’t shoot you back because it’s coward.
Blame India if you die.

Congratulations, now you can add “stone pelting” under the skills column in your CV.

(Feature Image from: Hindustan Times)

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