Fake Friendly Fridays is a section where we pick a famous personality and throw fake questions at him/her and in return, we receive fake answers. Why should you not take it seriously? Because it is fake.
If you still didn’t get it: This is a fake interview written purely on the basis of the author’s imagination of how the actual interview would have been if we got the chance to interview these famous (some, for all the wrong reasons) personalities in real life. In short, just have a good laugh!
ED: Hello everyone and welcome to another Fake Friendly Friday chit chat with ED Times. Today we have a very special guest for you. We will talk really carefully because he might just declare our show illegal at midnight some day if he doesn’t like it. Please welcome, our most loved Prime Minister, Mr. Narendra Modi!
(Modi enters followed by Amit Shah silently walking behind him. Modi waves at the crowd and can’t stop smiling, probably because Shah told him they’re planning to introduce another new tax)
ED: Oh, umm.. didn’t know Mr. Amit Shah would also be joining us. Nevertheless, please welcome Mr. Narendra Modi and Mr. Amit Shah!
(Crowd cheers and applauses, clicking a lot of photographs for meme material. Modi and Amit Shah sit down with the interviewer)
ED: Modi ji, we didn’t know Mr. Amit Shah was accompanying you tonight.
Modi: Bhai ne bola jana hai toh jana hai (still smiling)
ED: Well, we’d like to get to the point directly. How did you feel about Mr. Trump’s maiden visit to India?
Modi: Family. India and US is a family. Aap jaante hain na family ka importance?
ED: Ji Modi Ji. US is family for sure, but not some communities in India itself, I suppose.
Modi: About that… (looks back at Amit Shah and then looks at interviewer again) Bhai ne bola karne ka matlab karne ka!
ED: Ahem.. coming back to the Trump visit. Could you please give us some highlights of your meeting with the President of USA?
Modi: We were just talking normal trade deals. The West has some amazing trade ideas and I guess we should welcome them.
ED: Seems like we’ve been there before. But what do you think were the “substantial deliverables” (interviewer showing air quotes) that everyone is talking about?
Modi: (mimicking the air quotes) Achha laga ye jo aapne abhi kiya. (Looks at Amit Shah, smiling. Amit Shah still no expressions) Well, We wanted a global partnership. I have said earlier that Indo-US ties are the most important for 21st century and I stand by it. Bhai ne bola… ahem, I mean, Mr. Amit Shah has also supported my statement and now even Trump does.
ED: That sounds nice. We’d like to know more about the defence sector ties.
Modi: Haha, ab mai kya bolu (giggling and hiding his face with a hand. Looks at the interviewer after a second) We have terrorism everywhere. City, village, border, everywhere….
ED: True story. But.. (interviewer gets cut off in between)
Modi: Mr. Trump and I have decided to strengthen our ties to fight internal terrorism and protect our people strategically.
ED: Protect people? Like, specific groups?
Modi: Been there, done that. (smiling at the audience, attitude ke saath)
Also Read: Why Did The US Fail To Defeat The Taliban?
(Someone in the background screaming: “Let me tell you what it is. Listen to me! No, you listen to me!”)
ED: (to a spot boy) Could you please switch off the TV? We’ve got enough meme content here. (Looking at Modi again)
Modi: (to the audience) Mitron, aapko pata hai, we are about to buy MH-60 Romeo Helicopters from USA. Trump sir is very great.
ED: Sir, how many more helicopters are we going to buy from USA? Also, is there anything else that we are buying?
Modi: About helicopters, bhai ne bola karne ka, matlab karne ka. Yes we are buying other things also. You will see that in the news very soon. We have given other interviews also.
ED: I’m sure. Ours is not the only media house interested in meme material and your political magic. Actually, it was great to see Mr. Trump visiting India even when the capital is disturbed right now.
Modi: (Laughing) Akhir Taj Mahal toh Taj Mahal hota hai. Everyone wants to see it.
ED: Oh, so that is the main reason for his visit to India?
(Amit Shah whispering something in Modi’s ear)
Modi: (Folding hands to the audience and interviewer) Ab mai chalta hu. May God bless you all.
ED: (to the audience) Modi ji and Trump are just the same, you know. In fact, Modi ji is just Trump with more work experience. I hope you all got your memes ready. We’ll wait for them to pop up on our Instagram feed tomorrow morning. Please don’t let my commode time go to waste!
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