Women are subjected to discrimination even in a modern society. I put up in a metro city and live among seemingly modern and educated class of people.
Despite this, I face gender discrimination at various levels. Not to mention, I was discriminated by people belonging to affluent and well-educated households.
Below are some incidents that the girls around me and I have come across. Most of us are subjected to such stereotypes and I am sure that the girls reading this will relate to it.
I generally do not resort to eavesdropping but one day while having an evening stroll, I saw an ‘aunty’ talking to the mother of my friend. She pointed towards me and said, “Apni Beti Ko Iss Ladki Se Door Rakhiyega, Zyada Saath Ghumegi Toh Bigad Jayegi”.
I wanted to ask her the reason for such a statement but my manners stopped me from doing so. Deep down, I knew the reason for her statement.
I got labelled as a “bigdi hui ladki” because I had the audacity to stand against the social norms and talk about my rights.
When my teacher got to know about my relationship with this guy, she asked him to visit her in person. She told him to steer clear of me since he is a sensitive guy and I am a modern girl. She was sure that I’ll break his heart.
I never expected a teacher to say such a thing. She was supposed to demolish stereotypes, not to support them.
When I confronted a guy for his inappropriate gestures, he greeted me with this reply: “Pehle Unche-Neeche Kapde Pehen Ke Ghumengi Fir #MetToo Allegations Lagayengi”.
It was the worst explanation I had to hear for someone’s inappropriate behaviour.
(For those who are wondering, I was wearing a decent kurta and churidar salwaar which was not showing any skin.)
When a lady in my society asked me why I was studying law, I told her that it’s my field of passion and interest.
As soon as I walked away, she said to another lady, “Vakeel Banengi! Zubaan Kainchi Ki Tarah Chalti Hai Iski, Paraye Ghar Mein Aise Kaise Nibhayegi?”
I had the last laugh because, after a week or so, she came to me asking for legal advice with regard to her daughter’s divorce case.
I don’t like waxing because I don’t feel comfortable with it. I have always believed that it’s a matter of choice and not compulsion.
I was shocked when my well-educated female friend said in a low voice full of surprise, “You Don’t Wax You Arms? It’s High-time You Start Waxing Otherwise What Would Your Boyfriend Think?”
I failed to understand the connection between body hair and boyfriend.
Nonetheless, I was amused by the lack of a topic for discussion. Leaving international issues and problems of global warming, she chose my habit of not waxing as ‘Topic of the Day’. Weird!
I wasn’t in a healthy state of mind when a guy whom I called my friend demanded sexual advances. I shared the situation with a female friend who thought that it would be very convenient and appropriate to blame me for his behaviour.
It was highly insensitive and I never expected this from a woman.
When I shared the above incident with another female friend, she opined that my so-called ‘welcoming face’ was the root cause.
I aspire to be an independent woman and seldom use my parents’ contacts. Same goes for their hard earned money. This is because I respect the hard work my parents put in to get this money.
One day, a girl was discussing financial management with me. When the discussion went further, I told her that I don’t plan to inherit my parents’ property.
Listening to this, the first thing that popped out of her mouth was, “Unhone teri shadi ke liye hi toh bachaya hoga. Think of them”. I was immediately out of the conversation because, for me, marriage is not the ultimate goal of life.
I am not fond of kids. I would prefer animals over humans anytime. When I told a female co-worker about this, she guessed that probably I don’t have a woman’s heart.
Well, if loving kids is all that a woman’s heart has, then I am very much happy devoid of it.
The inherent patriarchy is so deep rooted in the social mindset that even the most modern and well-educated people are stung by it.
Women empowerment is not only about equal opportunities. Women empowerment can come into force only when we break the stereotypes we are enslaved by.
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Find The Blogger At: @innocentlysane
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